My Cupcakes!

 i'm writing a play, and my main character needs a middle name-she is katherine, and her younger sisters are emily and elizabeth (twins). the last name is tanner. katherine rarely goes by kate. i'm not giving out personality details because technically when you name someone you don't know their personality first :)

note- sorry it's not a baby... but this play is technically my baby ;D

I am really starting to like the name Corbin. There is a new boy at my preschool whose name is this so I am always saying it, so it just has grown on me.

WDYT?

Posted here in the grammar_whores community.

Edited to change the icon, to something more appropriate.

My daughter sent this email to a local college and couldn't figure out why they never got back to her.

Hello,
Do you need to apply to the college and get accepted to the college where the cource is bieng offered in order to take the cource?

Well dear perhaps if you had spelled course properly they would have gotten back to you...

This was kind of sweet but still stupid.

I was with my wife, parents, sister and sister’s boyfriend. Somehow the subject of pets and the amount of money people will pay to keep their pets alive a few more years came up.

My Dad took the macho, un-feeling stance..."The only reason people spend thousands of dollars on vet bills is because they forget that they're just animals. Just let them die and get another one I say."

My Mother cocks her head looking at my Dad, "And just how much money did you spend keeping our 20 year old cat alive just one more year?"

Dad (sputtering), "Well...that's different...we had her for twenty years...she was part of the family!"

(Uhmm, yeah Dad, everyone else spends thousands of dollars on animals they just picked up off the side of the road.)

Oh my god. I've heard this joke before, but never thought I'd actually run into someone like this.

( I still can't believe this really happened. )

Now that I'm here, I'll share a couple of retail mocks with you as well.

( Gotta love the general public! )

We clean the floors every night by pouring water on them, scrubbing them down, and then using the wet-dry vac to vacuum the water up. Tonight was no exception to this and my one coworker swept the floor, I poured the water, she scrubbed, and then I asked my other coworker to vacuum the floors (everyone HATES doing that part).

I then went to finish up what I was doing when the coworker I asked to vacuum came up to me and asked me this very stupid "i-can't-believe-he-just-asked-me-that" question.

"Do I have to plug the vacuum in to use it?"

It was all I had to not burst out laughing in front of him and calmly say, "yes, you have to plug it in or it won't work." The worst part, he was totally serious about plugging it in.

For both boys and girls

( contains spoiler )

I think it's her. Can anyone confirm?

I work at a restaurant as a hostess and we get a lot of stupid there.

Incident One
A lady walks up to the hostess desk.
Her: Exuse me.
Me: Yes? How can I help you?
Her: My omelette has eggs in it.
Me: And...?
Her: I don't eat eggs.
Me: You can order something else when your waitress comes back to your table.
Her: No, I just want someone to fix my omelette.
Me: Fix it?
Her: Take out the eggs.
Me: -grabs waitress and makes her handle it-

Incident Two
The city that I work in is organized as follows. It's basically one long, straight road, divided into streets. The streets go in order from 1st street to 100-something street. There is only one main road and to get anywhere, you just have to go up and down that road. I work on 70th street. A man walks in the door.
Me: Hi, how many?
Him: Oh, I was just wondering if this was the Dough Roller on 41st street.
Me: No, it's not.
Him: Oh. Which one is it?
Me: The Dough Roller on 70th street.
Him: How do I get to the Dough Roller on 41st street?
Me: Er. Go twenty-nine streets that way. -points-
Him: And what street is it on?
Me: 41st.

a few months ago my father went to some convention thing or something and in the evening they had a quiz (as, apparently, people do at these things) and the quiz masters' assistant (QMA) was writting the team names on a board and the conversation was, so i hear, as follows:

QMA: what are you called?
team: we are not steve
QMA: right, so what are you called?
team: we are not steve
QMA: i know that, what's your team name?
team: we are not steve 
QMA: so what are you called?
all the teams: we are not steve!
QMA: i know that! but what's your name?
my dad: *gets up, takes pen off QMA and writes 'we are not steve' on the board*

seriously, how dense?

 This sign was in my city last winter, a few blocks away from my apartment.  It's fairly juvenile humor, but really, I don't understand how anyone who works for the city never noticed, as it was up for at least a month that I know of.  It has since been removed, but the first time I saw it I literally facepalmed.

This brilliant little conversation occurred after I got snarky with my brother for cleaning cereal and milk off the floor...with tissues.

(Paraphrasing)

Brother: I hope you know your mind isn't as simple as mine.

Me: ....uh....you just called yourself stupid.

Brother: No, that's good. I'm--

Me: Simple-minded is stupid.

Brother: No it's not.

Me: ...

I wish I could remember the definition of simple-minded that he tried to throw at me. Whatever it was, he apparently though it meant something like he was a genius.

what do you think of when you hear the name Lucy? & do you like the name? 

TY! (= 

Marissa Jaret Winokur had her baby:
Zev Isaac

Not a fan. At all.

 
Edit: Zev means wolf in Hebrew.